/u/[deleted]'s posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

How do you know if your wife has been cheating on you with your best friend?

40 upvotes

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"What did the bartender say to the customer? . . . No, seriously, what did he say? I'm deaf."

39 upvotes

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A piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender refuses to serve him, saying, "We don't serve your kind around here."

39 upvotes

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The knight bent over the sleeping princess and kissed her.

38 upvotes

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what do you get when you try to crossbreed a moose and a human?

37 upvotes

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I'll make a fine prison guard.

35 upvotes

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My boyfriend asked me if he and I should really be together since he revealed to me that he's a werewolf.

35 upvotes

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God damnit, the electricity has been off for 18 hours, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

34 upvotes

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Me and my wife went to my childhood home to see the new residents that lived there and I knocked on the door and saw an old lady but then she immediately closed the door on me.

33 upvotes

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"I like open minded people."

33 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
How do you know if your wife has been cheating on you with your best friend?	40
"What did the bartender say to the customer? . . . No, seriously, what did he say? I'm deaf."	39
A piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender refuses to serve him, saying, "We don't serve your kind around here."	39
The knight bent over the sleeping princess and kissed her.	38
what do you get when you try to crossbreed a moose and a human?	37
I'll make a fine prison guard.	35
My boyfriend asked me if he and I should really be together since he revealed to me that he's a werewolf.	35
God damnit, the electricity has been off for 18 hours, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!	34
Me and my wife went to my childhood home to see the new residents that lived there and I knocked on the door and saw an old lady but then she immediately closed the door on me.	33
"I like open minded people."	33